Thank you, Harold Camping and your Family Radio, for your rampant spewing of made-up bullshit!

For the uninitiated, the nutballs at Family Radio, led by Harold Camping, have proclaimed the world to end very, very soon.

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How do they know? Oh, well, it’s obvious if you take a look at Ezekiel 23:5, or, um, Matthew 13:6, or wait, was it Deuteronomy 5.16? I don’t know. I’m no expert. But the cats at Family Radio claim to know, not believe, but KNOW that the world will end and they “prove” it using Scripture and Outta-their-Ass mathematics. Know what’s awesome behind the obvious insanity?

It’s all happened before.

The following isn’t the first time, but I love that it happened, can’t believe I never knew about it, and know, yes KNOW, that it’s gonna happen again.

Miller’s Great Disappointment. This is Miller:

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Some choice bits:

“Between 1831 and 1844, on the basis of his study of the Bible, and particularly the prophecy of Daniel 8:14—’Unto two thousand and three hundred days; then shall the sanctuary be cleansed,’—William Miller, a Baptist preacher, predicted and preached the imminent return of Jesus Christ to the earth. He first assumed that the cleansing of the sanctuary represented purification of the Earth by fire at Christ’s Second Coming. Then, using an interpretive principle known as the ‘day-year principle’, Miller, along with others, interpreted a prophetic day to read not as a 24-hour period, but rather as a calendar year. Further, Miller became convinced that the 2,300 day period started in 457 B.C. with the decree to rebuild Jerusalem by Artaxerxes I of Persia. Simple calculation then revealed that this period would end—and hence Christ’s return occur—in 1843.”

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“Both Millerite leaders and followers were left generally bewildered and disillusioned. Responses varied: some continued to look daily for Christ’s return, others predicted different dates—among them April, July, and October 1845. Some theorized that the world had entered the seventh millennium—the ‘Great Sabbath,’ and that therefore, the saved should not work. Others acted as children, basing their belief on Jesus’ words in Mark 10:15 ‘Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.’ Millerite O. J. D. Pickands used Revelation to teach that Christ was now sitting on a white cloud, and must be prayed down. Probably the majority however, simply gave up their beliefs and attempted to rebuild their lives. Some members rejoined their previous denominations. A substantial number joined the Shakers.”

Some have said, what’s the harm if Camping wants to spend his own money spreading bullshit lies? If it were his own money, I’d say have a ball, Harold. But he’s convinced quite a few people, many of them with families, that he’s right. Quite a number of them have given up everything–yes everything–in anticipation of Camping’s prediction. I honestly don’t give a shit if an adult makes the choice to give up his savings, job, housing, and whatever else to the staunch, delusional belief that some radio host somehow correctly predicted the end of the world, but what about those who have kids? And yes, kidless adults have a choice, but what are they supposed to do when Jesus doesn’t come? The libertarian in me says fuck ‘em. But the bleeding-heart liberal says they’re innocent people who are being swindled.

You should be ashamed, Harold. Profoundly, nauseatingly ashamed.

24 Responses to “Thank you, Harold Camping and your Family Radio, for your rampant spewing of made-up bullshit!”

  1. go to hell harold!

  2. I guess no one learned that LAST time he was wrong back in 1994. I was a 12 year old Catholic with then undiagnosed OCD at the time. I spent a few months scared out of my mind looking out the window for things like red colored moons. Now, I’ve diagnosed and treated, and I’m an atheist. I wish this clown would just piss off already.

    (On the other hand, if he’s right, that means fundies all go into the sky.)

    • Anton A. Hill Says:

      I was gonna mention Camping’s last prediction, but was in a hurry with the post. Thanks for pointing that out. Sorry for your scared shitless experience. That sounds awful. Since I was raised predominantly in the Association of Unity Churches, I was never taught that there’s a literal Hell or armageddon. In my opinion, telling children such things is nothing short of psychological child abuse.

      On a different note, send me your de-conversion story! Join the collection!

  3. [...] You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed You can leave a response, or trackback from your own [...]

  4. Well, Harold said that Jesus will return today, May 21 2011.
    Its now that day at 2pm here in Brisbane Australia.
    The birds are singing, we have had a sunny peaceful morning, a few showers in the last half hour, I have had breakfst and lunch and I have farted 16 times today.
    I am quietly confident that today will pass without Jesus coming down in his spaceship to probe me or whatever the heck He is supposed to do when he comes again.
    Harold Camping is a dick head.

  5. joe king Says:

    I hope this is the last that we hear from Harold Camping he should be barred from radio, he should be put in prison for scaring all of the little kids around the world, I think he is an old dick head he’s in it for the money, he should give his money back to all the people that he lied to.

    • Anton A. Hill Says:

      Hey Joe,

      Thanks for dropping by. I wholeheartedly agree. At least Camping will probably be dead soon. :)

      Best,

      Anton.

  6. I think Harold Camping is an asshole for trying to scare us with this false prediction, but now HE’S CLAIMING THAT IT’S STILL GOING TO HAPPEN, ON OCT 21st … So I guess he’s still trying to scare all the little kids and others… HE SHOULD BE SUED IF HE KEEPS PREACHING THIS BS…

    • Anton A. Hill Says:

      Hey Matt,

      Of course he’s claiming that it’s still going to happen. If there’s one thing that most people are terrified of, it’s admitting that they’re wrong. And I include many atheists in that category. I agree that he should suffer some negative consequence for his actions, but I’m not sure that there are any legal ramifications as his followers have followed him of their own free will.

    • Haroldtards are funny Says:

      Harold Camping is only harmful if you believe him. If you get angry every time some guy starts spouting off about the end of the world, all you’ll get is a stomach full of ulcers.

      • Anton A. Hill Says:

        Well, yes, of course. I’m not •angry• at Camping. I simply felt his name and cause were worth discussion. But your point is valid. If I were to piss and moan every time someone like him started preaching, I’d never get anything done.

    • Anton A. Hill Says:

      I’m not surprised at all. For months now, people in the atheist community have been predicting what Camping’s back-pedaling would look iike. I don’t remember who called this. i think it was at least Ask an Atheist in Seattle. But they totally did call it.

      • Anyway,milions of people are threating to sue him. But here no one ever heard about him.

        • Anton A. Hill Says:

          Hey Nana,

          Thanks for dropping by! Where’s “here”? As much as I understand people’s desire for some kind of revenge, I have to say that since they gave their money to him voluntarily, or gave their money away voluntarily, or spent it all voluntarily, the fact remains that it was all voluntary. I imagine any judge or jury would agree with that. At the same time, I heard on Ask an Atheist (linked in Atheist Resources) yesterday that Bernie Madoff went to jail despite his victims voluntarily giving him their money. So maybe there is a legal precedent upon which Camping’s victims can build their case.

    • Haroldtards are funny Says:

      As long as you’re not a Haroldtard, he’s harmless. He will eventually fade away, or croak.

  7. You are totaly right. Here is Macedonia:)

    • Anton A. Hill Says:

      Macedonia! Awesome! I know little about it except it’s where Alexander came a-calling. Thanks for stopping by again and please forward any de-conversion stories.

  8. louwandy Says:

    [Hi Anton, saw this blast on the net. The entire Rapture is crapture!]

    Christ’s return is NOT imminent !

    by Bruce Rockwell

    (Pretrib rapturists claim that Christ’s return is imminent, that is, capable of occurring at any moment. Theologian and pastor Norman MacPherson, in his excellent book “Triumph Through Tribulation,” offers proof that the Bible has never taught an any-moment return of Christ. Here are the points brought out and discussed at length by MacPherson:)

    1. Great Commission fulfillment implies a long period of time.
    2. Seed growth in Matthew 13 is a time-consuming process.
    3. Paul expected death, not rapture, in II Timothy 4:6-8.
    4. Jesus predicted Peter’s martyrdom in John 21:18-19.
    5. Matthew 24 teaches that signs must come first.
    6. Many passages speak of a large interval between Christ’s ascension and return: Jewish dispersion into “all nations” (Luke 21); “man travelling into a far country,” “after a long time the lord of those servants cometh” (Matthew 25).
    7. Apostasy of last days takes time to develop.
    8. Bridegroom tarried in parable of virgins.
    9. Pastoral epistles teach Church’s continuing ministry, which involves time.
    10. Paul says Christ’s coming is not imminent (II Thessalonians 2:1-3), for apostasy and Antichrist must come first.
    11. View of seven phases of church history (seven churches of Revelation) involves big lapse of time and imminence difficulties for pre-tribs; could Christ have come before the last phase?
    12. Exhortations to watch and be ready are tied to what pre-trib teachers regard as the second stage (which is necessarily non-imminent) in Matthew 24 and 25, I Corinthians 1:7, Colossians 3:4, I Thessalonians 3:13, II Thessalonians 1:7-10, I Peter 1:13 and 4:13, and I John 2:28.

    (How can an “imminent” return of Christ have a greater practical effect on us than the indwelling of the Holy Spirit already has, or should have, on us? For more on pretrib beliefs and history, Google “Pretrib Rapture Secrecy,” “Pretrib Rapture – Hidden Facts,” “Pretrib Rapture Diehards,” and “Pretrib Rapture Dishonesty.”)

    • Anton A. Hill Says:

      Hey Lou,

      Thanks for this. Mr. Rockwell’s opinion on the rapture is all fine and good, but it, too, is ultimately a bunch of bullshit mental masturbation. To me, debates about the rapture, how, when, and where it’ll occur, are kind of like debates about warp theory. In the original Star Trek, you could drive your starship to ever-increasing warp factors as long as the ship didn’t fly apart. In The Next Generation, it was established that it was impossible to go Warp 10 as that meant you were going infinitely fast and thus occupying every point in the universe–you were omnipresent. Which one was canon? They both were. Which one was true? Neither of course, because it’s a fucking TV show. Made up. Pretend. So Christians can debate all they want about which interpretation of rapture theology is biblically correct, but at the end of the day, to the rest of us they just look like a bunch of fucking pimply faced nerds who’ll never get laid.

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