I support @SecularStudents’ #SSAWeek because I was once a lost, collegiate heathen

When I was in college, the Secular Student Alliance didn’t exist. If it did, I sure as hell didn’t know about it. I’d recently graduated from the Catlin Gabel School in Portland, Oregon, a private, non-sectarian K-12 school whose demographics were predominantly Jewish, then Christian, then Other. Because I was a deist in high school, I never felt left out, at least not in any religious/irreligious way. No one proselytized. No one made his religion an issue. In fact, religion barely, if ever, came up.

Things changed when I went to the politically liberal, liberal-arts Pitzer College in Claremont, California. I was losing my faith from the beginning of my time there, realizing I was an atheist the summer of my freshman year. Unfortunately, beyond the initial relief that such an experience brings, I found neither comfort nor solidarity on campus.

The fact is probably most people I knew at that time were also atheists, or in the very least didn’t care. But you wouldn’t have known it from the presence of groups like the Campus Crusade for Christ. I still clearly remember trotting off to the Gold Student Center for a veggie burger and hearing the circle-snging from upstairs. Sure, they had the right to gather and make merry, but I was irritated anyway. Why should the Crusaders have a place to go and not I?

I also clearly remember a less fortunate occasion in the dining hall. I was obnoxiously dressed in a sarape because I was still amid my Mexican-culture-co-opting phase. This girl dropped by my table, set a table tent in the middle, and went on her way. I’d been having a very bad day for reasons I don’t remember. With this bad day, I took a quick look at the table tent. It said some shit about Jesus and saving and who knows what else. In a burst of righteous indignation, I seized the table tent and tore it to pieces. I sighed with relief.

Then the girl returned.

Weeping, she quietly apologized, gathered the destroyed table-tent pieces, and ran away. Good one, Anton. Way to be a total fucking asshole.

But here’s the thing. Had there been a SSA on campus, an active SSA, I most likely would’ve let bygones be bygones, at least as far as table tent placement goes. Sure, I would’ve felt annoyed by the girl and her table tent, but I would’ve had a place to have taken my gripes. Or I would’ve had my own table tents to place!

I know. I could’ve found a secular group on-line. I could’ve formed my own. It never crossed my mind to do either. And for that, some poor table tent had to die.

Don’t let future Campus Crusade for Christ table tents suffer the same fate! Support the Secular Student Alliance!

Happy post-facto co-opted #Pagan fertility/spring festival day!

I had a tradition here at Atheist Asshole of writing some kind of snarky, mocking post on Easter Sunday about Easter Sunday. Sometimes it was about the history of beloved Easter traditions and how they’re all Pagan-based. Sometimes it was just a log (blog?) of what I’d done to celebrate. But at least it was something.

As is evident from the date of this post, I completely fucked it up this year. And I don’t even remember what I did on Easter, let alone whether it was specifically Easter-related. I do remember that I started Chuck Heston’s The Ten Commandments, but only got about a half hour in before the rest of the audience had already given up. Sorry, Chuck.

Yes, I know, watching even part of The Ten Commandments is Easter-related, but remember that in previous years, I’d usually gone out and done something. One year, it was a butt-load of mini-golf. Another year it was an actual Easter brunch.

The thing is, and this was brought up by A-News co-founder Lee Moore on his Facebook page, that even though we atheists lack a belief in gods, that doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy a good time, even one that was at one time based partially or entirely on made-up religious bullshit.

Here’s the thing about holidays. As you may well know, yes, the origin of the word is much more literally religious-based. Holy day. But as any speaker of modern English will tell you, the “holi-” of “holiday” doesn’t in any casual, vernacular reality have anything to do with “holy” as in “god.” It’s basically just a “let’s have a good time” thing.

I don’t know about other atheists, but for myself, any excuse to have a good time is generally all one needs to justify doing so. Thus, even though the holiday in question is both Christian- and Pagan-based, in most ways inextricably tied (in some people’s minds) with Christ, just as it was co-opted by the Christians to suit their needs, so, too, it can be co-opted to suit mine.

With that, happy post-Easter no matter how you celebrated or what significance it holds for you. And if you don’t like that people like me stole your holiday for rounds of mini-gold thereby completely ignoring and trivializing what you consider to be the “true” meaning of it, well, tough shit.

All hail @MarkBurnettTV & @RealRomaDowney’s hilarious, white-washed @History channel @bibleseries!

History? No, no. We don’t trouble ourselves with fact or evidence.

Here’s a recap of the first episode.

Yes, yes. I’m white. Never mind my Semitic ethnicity.

I wrote about this when I first heard about it (and boy have the whiny, self-righteous, dishonest Christians come out of the woodwork since then!). The first episode has since premiered and, much to my dismay but complete lack of surprise, the ratings have been excellent. This of course means that more religious horseshit will most likely start pouring out of Hollywood. I actually have no real problem with that; H’wood’s a business and so will do what it thinks will make money, but I do have a number of problems with the series itself.

But rather than gripe for too long about that, I’ll let a couple others jump in here first.

And starring @AngusTJones as @4runner777′s bitch!

I don’t give a shit that Angus Jones is a Christian. I don’t even care that he’s an Adventist. I’m a little disappointed. He’s a cute kid with a well-funded future ahead of him, and it’s always my hope that young people don’t get swept up in indoctrination, but he has and it’s his life.

There were, however, a couple of bits that stuck out to me about this:

“I like black people. I’m not afraid to say it.”

–Angus T. Jones

Uh huh. Why would you be afraid to say it? Because it’s controversial? What, is this 1955? What a fucking weird thing to say. And notice how uncomfortable The Forerunner looks. Like, “Get off the ‘black people’ thing, kid. You’re digging yourself deep.”

“And I think that day, he showed me what the Bible taught about Hell… It’s there in the Bible. It’s there. And there’s no evidence for the opposing views.”

–Angus T. Jones

What he Hell?? (Ha ha.) At first, I thought he was saying that because the Bible is clear on Hell (I disagree), and because the opposing views have no evidence, that, therefore, Hell is real. Now I’m not so sure. It’s possible he was referring to any or all opposing views to Adventism. And I can’t really comment if his statement were that general because I’m neither an expert on Christianity in general nor on Adventism in particular.

But I can comment on Hell. It’s a well-documented fact that the concept of Hell evolved over the centuries starting with the vague notion of the grave/the abode of the dead (Sheol), to closer to a place for the wicked, based on the burning garbage heap of Gehenna which lay outside Jerusalem, to finally the modern concept, heavily embellished by extra-biblical narrative such as Dante. So this whole “what the Bible teaches about Hell” is only a piece of the story.

And it’s bullshit.

@realanews dishes on the election and has an #evangelical preacher argue from design!

This was a special edition episode recorded and posted on election night. I was very sad I couldn’t join, but I was, well, watching the election.

Lots of good talk, but the highlight for me was the inclusion of Jerry, an evangelical preacher who “used to be” an atheist.

So tired of that horseshit.

Let’s go to the actual bit. Lee asked Jerry why he was a believer and, after some further conversation including the allegation that Jerry believes in magic, this is what Jerry said:

“I say it’s physics.”

–Jerry

Right. Physics.

My problem with this argument is…

1. While physics demonstrates a consistency in universal, natural laws that accurately predict all cause/effect relationships,
2. this in no way necessarily leads to a designer/creator of such laws,
3. and even if it did, that still wouldn’t necessarily lead to any specific interpretation of said creator/designer,
4. whether generally the Abrahamic one,
5. or particularly the Christian one,
6. or even more particularly the Evangelical one.
7. And the testable nature of physical laws is completely inconsistent with the unfalsifiable nature of all supernatural Evangelical claims.

What’s left is, the universe seems designed because it looks to bear resemblance to things that we know are designed (having detectable, predictable patterns), therefore there must be a designer, and that designer must be whatever socially acceptable concoction I choose to emotionally invest in (because I want to).

The keys, though, are “seems,” “must be,” and “want,” all of which are completely irrelevant to the evidence.

That there seemed to be only five natural elements, earth, air, fire, water, and the fifth essence of, um, er, whatever, doesn’t change the fact that we’ve discovered actual elements.

That there must be an explanation for almost everything, particularly the exotic, yet familiar human eye, brain, and the cosmos, doesn’t change the fact that each of these things has been discovered to have specific components, specific functions, and specific mapped out development timelines completely devoid of the need for any external, intelligent agent.

That there is want for meaning, justice, righteousness or whatever other emotional element people crave doesn’t change the fact that these are all human constructs which, while perhaps fulfilling specific evolutionary needs, bear no inherent significance.

And that’s just my problem with his whole “physics” thing. Now for the horseshit!

“I used to be one of you.”

–Jerry

It’s an extremely persistent popular claim that people like Lee Strobel “used to be atheists.” I can’t say whether any of them ever was. Obviously to claim that they weren’t is to pull a Not a True Scotsman. I get that. But the inconsistency I see is that in every case of which I’m aware in which the believer claims to have been an atheist, he either has no clue what it means to be an atheist, he ultimately admits that he wasn’t, or he relies on the identical fallacies as the worst of the apologists to support his current belief.

Clearly, to claim that one was an atheist leads dramatic weight to the alleged conversion. It’s so much more impressive for a non-believer to turn into a believer than for one who was indoctrinated since childhood to be a believer and all he’s done is remained one.

This is why every time I’ve heard the claim, I’ve asked what convinced the believer. And every time it’s some version of “personal experience,” a reliance on fallacy like “the universe is too complicated NOT to have been designed,” or it turns out the believer has always been one, but had never been as committed to his faith as he is now and so labels his previous lack of commitment a lack of faith.

I don’t know Jerry. I probably never will. Certainly not how Brian knows him. Despite this, I remain confident that nothing he’d ever have to say in defense of his faith would impress me any more than any of the above.

“If you were able to show me incontrovertible proof [that atheism is true]…”

–Jerry

What the fuck was up with his attempt to shift the burden of proof? He used to be an atheist? Awesome. He’s now an evangelical preacher. Fantastic. Then how the fuck is it in his years as an atheist and now as a preacher he’s either never bumped into or is so incompetent a thinker as to not be able to avoid this tired, old trap?

Try this on for size, Jerry. Prove that the Easter Bunny DOESN’T exist.

• Don’t say because no one’s ever seen him. Maybe they weren’t looking hard enough.
• Don’t say kids made him up because the belief in Him, just as what you believe in, developed organically over time.
• Don’t say the claims of Him are impossible because the same applies to your faith.

What you’re left with is you can’t disprove the Easter Bunny. But that’s not your problem. It’s the problem of the Easter-Bunny believer to prove His existence, not your job to prove His lack of existence.

I have to wonder if this truly is the best that people like Jerry can do. An appeal to design, an appeal to conversion, and an attempt to shift the burden of proof. No wonder the evangelical numbers are slipping. It’s only a matter of time before people like Jerry have to get real jobs.

Here’s A-News, the episode on A-News, and here it is on iTunes.