Thank you, Victoria Jackson, for being honest about your made-up bullshit!

This is a few days old now. It’s from Ryan Cameron from Atheist Nexus (though I hate how CNN links to things, so the link is actually from Atheist Media Blog).

Oh, Victoria. You made me laugh so hard when you were on SNL. You were one of the greats. Your blonde/innocent/dumb routine rarely got old. You just did it so well! For a while, i almost considered you and atheist Julia Sweeney comedy sisters. Granted, she was the wiser, smarter, hotter sister who made me laugh a whole lot more than you did, but sisters nonetheless. Then I met Julia and realized there were pretty good reasons why she had always seemed wiser and smarter. She was. But let’s not spend more time on Julia. Let’s get to you. (Times are approximate.)

2:12 Jackson, “It doesn’t matter what I think. It only matters what the Bible says. And I’m really concerned about our country because immorality is… secular humanism rules the airwaves and it’s stealing the innocense away from this whole generation of children. And my daughter’s a teenager. And I can’t find any show that she can watch.”

As I said with Ann Coulter, it’s really popular among the left to hate Coulter, but she, as with Jackson above, is right. It DOESN’T matter what Jackson thinks. The Bible is clear. Pee-pees in poo holes is evil. If you’re a Jew, Christian, or Muslim, you MUST believe this. Jackson’s merely saying exactly what her faith says is true. And she’s being labeled a homophobe. Of course she is one, but that’s exactly what the Abrahamic faiths preach. If you are a member of one, you MUST agree with Jackson.

2:54 Jackson, “That’s [homophobic] a cute little buzzword of the liberal agenda. Basically, the Bible says that homosexuality is a sin. But it also has ‘gossip’ listed in the same paragraph as an equal sin. And the reason the Bible tells us what is a sin is to point us to the savior and shows we need one, Jesus Christ. And I’ve noticed that the liberal agenda is anti-Christ–I mean anti-Jesus…”

I think it’s a little off to label homophobia a buzzword, specifically of the “liberal agenda”, given that it’s almost universally regarded as not such a good thing, but I understand what she’s saying. The so-called buzzword certainly carries a bit of weight on the left.

I had no idea gossip was in there. Thanks, Jackson, for enlightening me. Good to know. Next time I hear any Christian or Jew or Muslim gossiping, I’ll point that out.

The only things that bother me in the rest of her quote are that, like every other religious I’ve met, she presents not one lick of evidence for the truth of her claims. That and she points up when referring to Christ. I’ve been told that Jesus/God is everywhere, so there’s no need to point in any one direction.

3:49 Jackson, “No, it’s [that which is portrayed of gays on Glee] not helping [kids]. …They should have a celibacy campaign and tell kids that 50% of teenagers have this new STD from oral sex. That’s what they should be… doing. It’s… instead of trying to make kids gay. Now listen. I just want to know why the liberals are pro-Muslim and pro-gay. Muslims kill gays. That’s what’s confusing to me. And the only thing I can come up with is that the Muslims hate God and the gays hate His Word…”

A lot here. I don’t know why she says that Glee isn’t helping kids. Maybe what she’s getting at is that if media portrays homosexuality in a positive light, then gay teens will feel encouraged to be how they were born, and thus stray from God. I’ve heard that one before. And again, she’s probably right.

Her suggestion is a good one about a celibacy campaign. If kids don’t fuck, then they don’t get pregannt and don’t pass disease. I’ve always felt such campaigns are entirely ineffective, but I can understand why she wants such a campaign.

“Trying to make kids gay” is where she loses me. If one is gay, then one is gay. One cannot become gay if one isn’t already. What she should’ve said is “trying to make kids come out of the closet.” That would be a bit more accurate.

The rest makes more sense to me. Liberals do tend to be all-accepting right down to where they’re not. And she’s right. Muslims do kill gays. Why she accuses Muslims of hating God, I don’t know. But gays hating His Word, she’s totally on.

5:14 Jackson, “I think there’s a spiritual war in our country right now Ephesians 6:12 and I wanna encourage people who love the Word of God to stand up for what they believe in and not to hide in church and preach to the choir. This culture is affecting our children. And making them run away from Jesus Christ. …God can’t bless our nation if we’re spitting in His face. Leviticus 26 says that God will bless that nation that blesses Him. And that’s all I’m trying to say. I have gay friends and we love each other.”

So much delicious meat!

The case can be made that there’s a “spiritual war” going on in this country. There are definitely passionate differences of opinion among the people about who’s right in terms of the Invisible Magic Sky Man. And as far as I can tell, the various groups arguing all believe that they’re right and every other is wrong. So, sure, there’s definitely a struggle. I have to wonder, though, what’s her point? Who cares? As long as there are different opinions to have on any topic, there will be those who passionately disagree with each other, and thus a “war” of words if not of arms.

Maybe Jackson’s point is that this war she mentions will be won and maybe she’s afraid that her side won’t be the victor (like that? I said “victor” and I’m talking about someone named “Victoria”? Ha!). But then I have to wonder, if she believes in an omnipotent god who wrote her holy book, she must believe that her side wins without any struggle at all, right? And if she doesn’t believe this, then I’d have to ask upon what is she basing her opinion? Either the god she worships will prevail or it won’t. If it will, there’s nothing for her to worry about. If it won’t, then it’s not a god.

I can almost understand the fear of media like Glee affecting children and making them run away from Christ. But again, my question is if one truly believes that one has a cornerstone claim on the infallible truth, then what has one to fear from a silly TV show about kids who sing a capella renditions of current pop songs?

I LOVE it when Christians ever say “god can’t”!! Goddamn that rocks my socks! God can’t? Really? Why not exactly? God’s power is contingent upon us? Wow. What a colossal pussy. Let’s get this straight. God would bless our nation, but he CAN’T because we’re spitting in his face. That’s right. God is a petty, petulent 14-year-old girl. I’m sorry for the sexism, but in my observation, nobody holds grudges like early teen girls. Is this god entity the creator and ruler of the entire universe or is it a pissy,
tantrum-throwing, foot-stomping toddler?? Somebody’s gonna have to explain this shit to me some day.

I never understand why anyone who has a blatant discrimination against a group is so quick to attempt to downplay that discrimination by claiming to have friends in that group. To me it seems no different from someone saying disparaging things about Blacks and then going on to excuse those things by saying someone has Black friends. Whether you have gay/Black friends or not doesn’t preclude your bullshit. And I’d love to chat with you AND your gay friend to see exactly how you reconcile all this.

Some may find this hard to believe, but I actually have an issue with Brooke Anderson cutting her off so many times and so dismissively. In my opinion, that amounts to an ad hominem. What Anderson should’ve done is ask specific, skeptical questions as to how Jackson knows that she’s right and why she believes this bullshit. Dismissing her is rude, which is my job, not CNN’s.

Thanks, Victoria. You give us evil atheists nothing but ammunition to point out your bullshit. I might be scared that people like you are out there except that, as history demonstrates, reason always prevails.

(I know that I just used two fallacies, so please don’t bother pointing them out. :P)

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