An Easter conversation resumed

Holy fuck did I get served! For context (I’m in italics; Pen Pal’s in bold italics):

No worries–>This is my last on here. Just thought it was funny that you deleted our conversation. Kind of proves my point of the desire of confirmation rather than validation.

All it proves Anton is I have no time to argue specially when the conversation is one sided and narrow minded. Please pick fights with someone else!! I all love and peace…fight with someone or on your own wall!!! I do not tolerate our accept lack of respect to who I am or who I am and my believes. That you don’t understand something does not give you the right to act this way. Respect and tolerance dude!! Learn that first.

She’s right. I can’t prove that she deleted our conversation because confirmation of her beliefs was more important to her than validation of them. I shouldn’t have said that. That said, a number of things that she said pissed me off because they’re tired bullshit (“narrow minded”, “tolerance”) that people constantly use to attempt to establish that you either don’t have the right to question/criticize what they’re saying or you somehow lack the understanding of what they’re saying (but when you ask for explanation, they accuse such a request of being an attack).

My following ocmment is included solely for context.

Anton Hill April 27 at 2:11pm
Hey Pen,

It’ll take me a little while to get back to you, but I will respond soon.

Best,

Anton.

Pen Pal April 27 at 2:34pm Report
Please do NOT respond!! You just don’t understand. It’s already been way too much for me as it is!!! I do not, I repeat, want more vb of this shirt. Please don’t respond since I will not read it. My life is full of light, goodness, respect and conflict free. I want it to stay that way!!. Just want to forget what happened. And, if you don’t agree with me or my believes are way different than yours to the point where you can’t tolerate them or want to pick fights and disrespect who I am and what I believe on MY OWN space, I suggest you erase me then off your contacts list.

Pen

Anton Hill April 27 at 3:03pm
Hey Pen,

I expect no response from you, but I feel this needs some clarity. I really wasn’t trying to pick a fight. I truly didn’t understand what your initial phrases meant. In my whole life, I’ve never heard anyone talk about accepting Easter, or however you phrased it.

You claim that I was being “narrow-minded”, but being “open-minded” doesn’t mean automatically accepting any claim anyone makes. I’m sure you’d agree that there are some claims you’ve heard which you didn’t automatically accept. I invite you to check out the linked video for a full discussion.

I never disrespected you. Not once. Per the First Amendment of the Constitution, I absolutely respect your RIGHT to believe whatever you want, but I’m under no obligation, legal or otherwise, to respect anyone’s beliefs, religious or otherwise, without evidence.

You keep claiming that I’ve acted in an egregious manner, yet all I did was ask questions and ask for definitions. (I also may have pointed out a fallacy or two.)

If you want to delete me from your contacts, that’s your choice, but I like seeing your updates on concerts and such.

Best,

Anton.

I realize I can’t prove what I claimed to have said in my questions and comments since she deleted them, but I swear I wasn’t being sarcastic and I wasn’t attacking. Admittedly, my non-emoticon comments may have seemed medical and thus uncaring, but I really was just asking questions. As I mentioned here, it seems that asking a question IS an attack. And it seems that not respecting a belief IS not respecting a person.

Pen Pal5:53pm Apr 27th
Re: Enough!!!
Dude you really need to know WHEN to drop it!!!! NOW, PLEASE drop it!! No ONE has ever managed to push my buttons this far!!
If I did not explain to you (and I DIDN’T) what I meant is because you DO NOT explain your must inner and intimate experiences in
FACEBOOK!!!! Don’t you get that?!! and with your disrespectful attitude I felt less and less opening up to you!! (several of my friends where wondering who you were and why were you arguing with me on something SO FREAKING PERSONAL!! And so you know, that IS why I erased your comments!!)

Now, please leave me alone!!!

Pen
Thanks for putting a damper on something that was VERY special for me Dude!!!!

Re: Enough!!!
And if you ever feel to disagree to so to your MOST open content but NOT IN MY PERSONAL SPACE!!

This I found truly perplexing. Clearly, she’s furious. And now she’s whipping out shit like “inner” and “intimate experiences”. Maybe for Catholics, Easter is the equivalent of such an experience, or maybe the story of it, or something else, but this was totally out of the fucking blue for me. First, I was confused by her initial phrasing of “accepting” Easter. Now I’m really confused. And yet I was being chastised for my ignorance of the “intimate experiences” I never could’ve known Pen to have. Does that mean I can yell at her for not knowing about shit I’ve experienced?

I also love her appeal to popularity by bringing up her friends. Totally irrelevant. Even if a million people were wondering who I am, why I was saying what I was saying, and all of them thought I was a dick for doing so, that doesn’t make me any more attacking or any less questioning.

Anton Hill April 28 at 10:42am
Hey Pen,

I can absolutely understand your feelings on explaining intimate experiences (on Facebook). I never would’ve guessed that’s how you would describe anything about Easter. So for my ignorance, I do apologize. Just to let you know, though, all you had to do was say something like, “Hey, Anton, I’m happy to discuss this with you privately, but not on here.” I would have completely respected that.

As for pushing your buttons, I can understand that frustration as well, but again, from my perspective, I was only asking questions and for definitions. I’m sorry you felt it was disrespectful, but that was not my intent.

With all that having been said, I sincerely hope you consider your buttons “de-pushed.” 🙂 If you ever do feel like telling me whatever experience you were going to tell me, please feel free.

Best,

Anton.

I’ve not heard back since.

As I mentioned earlier, this kind of proves my assertion here that in order to have religious friends, it seems to be absolutely unacceptable to ever ask any questions of any kind in regards to their beliefs. Even just clarification of what those beliefs are!

It’s interesting to note that despite talk of Facebook friend deletion, it doesn’t seem to have happened on her end. But honestly, if it does, if I never hear from Pen again in my whole life, if she was literally serious when she commanded me to leave her alone, that’s fine. I can live with that. Though I had considered her a friend since high school, we’ve in reality been little more than pen pals for the vast majority of that time (though, ironically, she’s the sole reason I signed up on Facebook; she kept sending me invites and I got sick of getting them, so I joined). My opinion of her reamins. She’s a really sweet lady. If we continue to be at least pen pals or at most friends, awesome. But if this was it, then this was it.

3 Responses to “An Easter conversation resumed”

  1. […] I say (nother) because I sent a previous, different one here. […]

  2. […] Pen Pal’s name, but I have to admit that after our initial discussion on Facebook as detailed here, I became frustrated at her insistence on her accusations against me, her absolute disinterest in […]

  3. […] was Belinda V., a Roman Catholic, as chronicled here. She initially claimed that I disrespected her and her beliefs. As you can read, I (initially) only […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: