@ChickfilA Has Got-To-St-A or @keishacory Is Full of Shit or Monkeys Handle PR for the @hensoncompany

Before I get to my thoughts (including why I’m picking on poor Keisha Cory), I’ll let Dusty Smith have the first word.

PART I: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK

I’m one of the lucky ones. Before about a year ago, I’d never heard of Chick-Fil-A. I’ve never had to go through this personal crisis of such-good-chicken/such-crap-morals. I was walking around in Hollywood, happened upon a construction site, happened to see the announcement sign of the forthcoming Chick-Fil-A restaurant, looked them up out of curiosity, and decided not to give them my money. That was it. That was all.

Then a few weeks ago, everyone discovered how to use the internet and learned how to read. What vast, arcane knowledge did the intertubes spew forth? Exactly what I’d learned a year ago. Chick-Fil-A has never hidden their beliefs. They’ve stuck them in plain site. It’s not like they up and decided to be homophobic assholes last year.

And that’s what they are. Homophobic assholes who cherry-pick the Bible for what they want, versus what they don’t. Cherry-picking Southern Baptists? I know. Stop the presses.

PART II: FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS A BITCH

Because I’m such a staunch supporter of the First Amendment, I thought nothing of Chick-Fil-A and their beliefs. As I mentioned above, I figured I could vote with my wallet and leave it at that. End of story. Then the mayor of Boston had to go and make an ass of himself. I really don’t get what people don’t get about the constitution. It doesn’t say “freedom of speech for the kind of speech we all like and agree on.” It says “freedom of speech.” So where the fuck does Tom Menino get off presuming to represent the state against Chick-Fil-A in the court of public opinion? Granted, if Chick-Fil-A refused to hire gays, that’d be a separate issue. Then again, churches get away with it all the time, so maybe it wouldn’t be a separate issue.

PART III: THE JIM HENSON COMPANY SHOULD FIRE THEIR PR PEOPLE

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I praised them for discontinuing their association with Chick-Fil-A, but I also had to wonder, who the fuck are their PR people and how old are their computers? Presumably, an average contract between two parties in which one owns a family restaurant chain and the other has direct association with popular children’s characters takes a couple of months to negotiate. Presumably, during that period, the two companies, both of whom serve the public and have prominent public images about which they care deeply, could’ve vetted each other with little more than a mouse click. So what happened? The Jim Henson Company never saw Chick-Fil-A’s official web site on which they’ve always stated their beliefs? They couldn’t google Chick-Fil-A’s charitable activities for the past three years? I mean, seriously, Brian and Lisa, were you so busy not making movies that you couldn’t be bothered to do a little homework? Or had you done your homework, were complacent, and only when your hand was caught in the jar did you cry foul? Either way, you dropped the ball.

PART IV: PARADE OF THE ASSHOLES

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Mike Huckabee’s always bothered me. His aw-schucks, home-spun “charm” wears out its welcome right around the time he opens his mouth. But, like with Chick-Fil-A, I usually just ignore him. Then he had to go and launch his Rally-O’-Gay-Hate Day.

Wow. I mean look at that. People camped out. Fucking CAMPED OUT to show what petty, short-sighted dicks they are. I like showing how much of a dick I am, but I do it the easy, lazy way. On this site. Not camped out of a restaurant to whom I owe zero loyalty.

As an aside, look at the bottom pic. See the signs? “Race Mixing Is Communism.” I get that the internet wasn’t around when these people wanted to legally bar me from marrying my wife, but there were libraries, at which one could easily look up “race mixing” and “communism” and realize that, oh yeah, they have nothing to fucking do with each other.

PART V: READ THE FUCKING BOOK

I say let Chick-Fil-A cluck all they want about “biblical-correctness.” They will only make huge asses of themselves as history continues to favor equal rights for all over mythology. They’d do themselves a favor, though, if they stopped fucking lying about the “biblical definition” of marriage. Says who? Mrs. Betty Bowers:

That was gonna be it for me. I was gonna say my peace, briefly, and move on. Then, when I looked up Chick-Fil-A’s Twitter business, one of the first tweets that popped up was this:

Let’s start from the top.

1. Chick-Fil-A serves anybody

They’re a service-based business. You don’t become a billionaire in the service industry by refusing to serve people, even if it is only 10% of the population. And even if Chick-Fil-A wanted to refuse service to gays, how could they? Conservative stereotyping aside, there’s no gay test. It’s not like they could pipe Barbra Streisand out of their kitchen and wait to see who shows up.

2. while not being ashamed of principles,

What the fuck does that even mean? Let’s find out. According to Dictionary.com:

1. an accepted or professed rule of action or conduct: a person of good moral principles.
2. a fundamental, primary, or general law or truth from which others are derived: the principles of modern physics.
3. a fundamental doctrine or tenet; a distinctive ruling opinion: the principles of the Stoics.
4. principles, a personal or specific basis of conduct or management: to adhere to one’s principles; a kindergarten run on modern
principles.
5. guiding sense of the requirements and obligations of right conduct: a person of principle.

Basically, a principle is an idea that founds the basis of and drives forth other ideas, actions, and emotions. But wait, if we go by the dictionary definition, then just about anything could be considered a principle. Like anti-miscegenation. Like anti-voting rights for non-land-owners. Like anti-child-labor laws. Oo, but nobody’s clamoring to tweet their admiration for asshole restaurant chain owners who stand for THOSE principles (anymore). Face it, kiddies. Not all “principles” are equal. Some “principles” aren’t as good as others. And some are downright wrong as I wrote about here.

So good for Chick-Fil-A. They’re not ashamed of being dicks. Hey, neither am I. Guess we have that in common.

3. yet their accusers discriminate while claiming discrimination

And both are true. I discriminate where my money goes. I’m discriminated against giving it to assholes. Chick-Fil-A also discriminates where their money goes. They discriminate towards giving it to fellow assholes. It would seem, then, that discrimination in this case is neither good nor bad, but merely a choice. The difference is that my choice only serves to line S. Truett Cathy’s pockets just a little bit less. His choice provides a voice and a say towards anti-gay public policy, which the groups he supports have no right to infringe upon the rest of us.

Big fucking difference, Keisha.

4. #backwards

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What, I’m supposed to give Cathy my money so he can give it to fellow assholes while I’m also supposed to praise him for not giving a gay test to potential customers?

I look shit up when I’m unsure, Keisha. Maybe you should too.

After reading and steaming over Keisha’s bullshit, I checked out her site.

Pretty standard born-again Christian ministry fare. The contrast between the smiley, we-love-everybody vibe and the fact of her homophobic horseshit really got me irked about the issue in general. I was gonna write a rant or make a video about the objections to equal gay rights. Then, luckily, I stumbled on that which I’ll end with:

2 Responses to “@ChickfilA Has Got-To-St-A or @keishacory Is Full of Shit or Monkeys Handle PR for the @hensoncompany”

  1. rick sherman Says:

    Who is Keisha Corey? Is she just another sound bite that God is pimping out to bolster membership? I finally at the age of 46 dissolved myself of all of the brainwashing conducted by my also brainwashed Pentecost family.
    I am now a “born again” atheist furious over the “concept” called “The Separation of Church and State” What a horrendous joke. Disgusting!!! Literally makes me puke. Politicians pull God out of their pocket as a sound byte like fodder, promoting themselves as a person ordained by God and therefore speaking on his behalf. Therefore, you must support their position. After all he is a Christian. He must be a fine, decent respectable person. Blind to the idea that this Christian may be the most devious, repugnant slob that ever existed. Congress is saturated with religion. Seriously,. God is on our money. In our courthouse’s. We swear on a bible to provide testimony. Laws are passed based on beliefs in an Idea, that conveniently can never be proven. Now, Im all for gay rights and civil liberties.Gay, straight, red, yellow, black, white,male or female. Equal. A noble battle to wage. But, if we are going to fight this insipid years how about hitting this cult where it will hurt them the most and yet benefit EVERYONE. We must force these ignorant fanatics pay the tax on the MASSIVE wealth accumulated annually. What? Everyone wants to have a nation that is trillions of dollars in debt? And, what about our schools, bridges and the homeless starving americans. Im sorry, but putting doling out bread and navy bean soup to the homeless every Wednesday doesn’t cut the mustard compared to the, is it Trillions of dollars the church accumulates, EVERY year.
    What a gig. First, feed on the humans natural fear of death and of what happens to you when you die. Start the indoctrination and brainwashing the child from near birth and then make sure it is understood and mandated, your “tithes” must be paid every Sunday to prove your devotion to God or burn for eternity.
    I feel sorry for these pitiful, naïve people to some degree. But, common, Noah, Adam and Eve, Earth created in six days six thousand years ago? Its unbelievable. Preposterous!! Yet billions have died for this calculated deceit and more death lingering ahead, all for the LOVE of God.
    I don’t know about you, but I stopped believing in Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny when I was 7 years old. Personally, I don’t see the difference between these fables and the one true omnipotent God. Except people aren’t persecuted and slaughtered in the name of Santa.
    Hey folks, here is slap of reality for you. No need to fear death. Empower yourself with the knowledge that is just another part of existing. All good things must……..you die and cease. Nothing more.
    I’ve known about the firm stance on Christianity by Chick fil A since 1984.. it was my first job in High School. I saw first hand the discrimination against non-believers. Brazen Ideologies that prevented a non believer from having his own franchise. You had to be a proven born again follower to have a store of your own. Not sure if its the same now that they are such a large chain, or if its even legal. All I can say is that I support gay rights and marriage. And I will not support and corporation that is too ignorant not to. A damn shame. I really liked their chicken.

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