And nothing but the truth, #sohelpyougod

I’ve been summoned to serve my civic duty and be a member of a jury. I tried to get out of it of course. But when I gave my excuse, the government was all like, "Don’t care, bitch. Be there bright and early Monday morning." I know that I still may not be picked. I’ve heard the rumor that they don’t tend to like us left-leaning, educated types. I still don’t wanna bother with it. The thing that worries me the most?

That one moment.

Some of us atheists talk a big game. We’re all like, "At the holidays, not only do I not bow my head for grace, but I flip my whole family off and yell, ‘Fuck you and your god!’" But when I thought about having to do this, I actually realized I dreaded the swearing in.

I’m a bit of a student of social behavior and one thing I’ve consistently noticed is it’s in fact pretty difficult to intentionally break from social norms. Usually, the instant you do, you’re met with suspicion, or worse, ridicule. There’s a reason for this. It discourages anti-social behavior. Most people don’t like to be ridiculed so most people avoid such possibilities at just about any cost.

Such it is when one’s standing in front of a judge, attorneys, other jury members, staff, who knows who else, and everyone wants to just get on with it. That’s why when I thought, "Fuck them; I’m gonna say I can’t swear to God," I felt an immediate anxious adrenaline rush like I’d just done something wrong.

Despite my above observation, I’m certain I will express my religious disbelief, but I’m just as certain that, rather than make a big, news-attention-getting deal about it, I’ll probably just say my two bits in about two bits and be done with it.

And watch it be a giant, stinking pile of non-issue.

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