Fuck you, @Theresacaputo, for cheating the bereaved and gullible! #LongIslandMedium my ass!

caputo

I fucking hate psychics. Fucking hate them. Sure, preachers lie, but psychics lie with specific detail with the express intent of exploiting their victims’ deepest pain and hope solely for a quick fucking buck. It’s that hope that I find so egregious. That tiny moment of maybe. And the faux gracious humility is icing on the outrage cake. Granted, some psychics, like John Edwards, drip on the icing a little less. And some psychics, like Sylvia Browne, even when caught in their bullshit, don’t have the fucking humility of “oh, oops, sorry about that,” but they all dip from the same swill. And I’ve been wondering for years now why these assholes are granted such social leeway. I’ve never seen, on any talk show or news segment, anyone ever call them straight out for what they are. There’s always this polite veneer, a kid-glove handling that, near as I can tell, psychics never fucking earned. I mean, shit, the average politician makes a gaffe and gets raked across the coals, but Browne fucks up the she’s dead/oh, no she isn’t and the media’s practically silent.

Pant, pant.

So now I see on Deadline that:

TLC‘s Long Island Medium mid-season debut was the most watched non-sports program in cable primetime Sunday night, clocking 2.6 million viewers, according to Nielsen stats.

I get that TLC hasn’t been The Learning Channel in a long time. I get the primary reason for this is probably that bullshit reality shows are more popular than learning shows. I don’t blame them for staying relevant through re-branding and content change. But they have a fucking choice. No one put a gun to their CEO with the mandate of giving Caputo a platform.

And who the fuck is this Theresa Caputo? In her own words:

I began seeing spirit at age 4. I suffered from anxiety for years until my mom suggested I go to a spiritual healer/teacher. I went to see Pat Longo and that’s how I found out that I had the ability to communicate with spirit. I have been a practicing medium for over 10 years and a certified medium with the Forever-Family Foundation – an organization dedicated to connecting science with the afterlife. People ask me to describe the process of receiving information. It’s hard for me to describe because I see, hear and feel things differently than we do in the physical world. My wish for every person I come in contact with, is that they receive a message that will give them healing and closure to embrace life without their loved ones.

A “certified medium”?? What the fuck is that and how the fuck do they determine that? In their own words:

After submitting a questionnaire on basic ethics and practices, mediums are invited to participate in a program that seeks to verify their ability in spirit communication. During these sessions, mediums seeking certification are required to provide a series of readings to different sitters. The information provided by the mediums is scored by the sitters utilizing a method devised by the foundation. In order to pass this certification, a medium must demonstrate composite scores that indicate significant proficiency, providing percentages of accuracy that are way beyond the statistical probability of chance. A Certified medium is entitled to display the following official seal on their literature and website:

“…a method devised by the foundation.” I wonder what that is. They pick a number between 1 and 1,000 and if you get it right three times, that exceeds “statistical probability of chance”? Their “method” sounds an awful lot like the combination of confimation bias and argument from ignorance. Just that one thing “probability of chance.” How do they calculate that? If a potential medium reads something that’s only 36%, then that’s just not impressive enough? But hey, 78%, is that beyond statistical probability?

Ah, pseudoscience.

Oh, and there’s more! Check this shit out!

afterlife science (af’ter·lïf’ sï’ens) n. The study of phenomena associated with survival of consciousness after death; including near death experiences, after death communications, life after life (death), and reincarnation.

What, what?? Afterlife science?? I fucking love it when people have to add modifiers to “science” because their “science” is bullshit. No, kids. There’s only science. It’s either falsifiable or it isn’t. It’s either testable or it isn’t. One can either predict with theories or one can’t. One can either run independent experiments to confirm hypotheses or one can’t.

Fuck you, Caputo, and your fucking hair, and your fucking schtick, and your ridiculous, mid-’90s AOL-reject Forever-Family certification bullshit. Grab yourself a million bucks and maybe I’ll retract. Until then, go fuck yourself.

5 Responses to “Fuck you, @Theresacaputo, for cheating the bereaved and gullible! #LongIslandMedium my ass!”

  1. That bitch is visibly psyched for that Nick Cave show!

  2. […] I’ve said before, I fucking hate psychics. Even when they’re seemingly sweet, TV-show hosts. Browne was one of the worst, though. Not only did she get the usual shit wrong, but she […]

    • Couldnt agree more, stupid talk show anchors alway buy their bullshit, nobody ever checks the facts.
      Good example are Psychic Twins. whole world beleives that they predicted 9/11. But If you check the facts you figure out they just used that tragedy to promothe their bullshit business. They did mention WTC attack in 99, but with no details and they missed the year. And then in October 2001 after 9/11 they added al the details on website seemingly showing as details were on the pgade before September. And then they have the audacity to go to many talk shows and media and blatantly lie about it. Can you go lower than to bottomfeed from tragedy like this?
      Here is the video proving all this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8KJqJjkTWU

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