Random shit for Friday (#triggerwarning: mom)
It was bound to happen eventually. I sort of tried to stop it, but I guess I was doomed to fail.
First, the requisite background. (I’ll link later.). As I’ve probably said a bunch of times, my loss of faith came a little late, at 19, after about four years of questioning, wondering, being agnostic, etc. During that time, I had maybe three conversations with my mom about what I was going through (that I remember). One was a conversation in which she expressed her concern that I no longer believed in God. This is funny because at that time I neither wanted nor expected to go down that road and even found her suspicion odd.
Since losing my faith, I can remember only about two more conversations in which we explicitly discussed faith. In both cases, the how and why of my faith-loss didn’t come up. In both cases, the conversations basically amounted to my mom talking at me about faith. I don’t mean that in a resentful way. In both cases, I didn’t seek to express the why of my loss… though it would’ve been nice to have been asked.
A few weeks ago, it all changed.
My mom’s been on Facebook a while, but only weeks ago did she add me. I don’t know why it was only recently given I’ve been on for years, but that’s irrelevant. What’s relevant is that I anticipated trouble. Not terrible, knock-out, throw-down trouble, just… irritation.
I blocked my link to this site. I’ve blocked her from some posts. Everything went swimmingly.
She posted a link to a bullshit Other Hitchens article. On my timeline. See, that’s the thing. I promised myself that while I wouldn’t hide my atheism (other than the more provocative posts), I also wouldn’t intentionally goad my mom on through her timeline.
So she posts this bullshit article on my timeline with the request
(which I may link) that I “read the whole thing.”
It was the same old horseshit you’d expect. Atheists are angry. They have no proof either. Where do they get their morality? Blah blah. Fallacy. Crapontheface.
I said as much.
Mom and I went back and forth a bit. To be fair, I think her motivation was completely sincere. I think she truly found it a compelling article and really wanted my opinion…
Except she didn’t. And I say this with full respect to my mother. As soon as I pointed out the article’s bullshit, she came back with things like, (paraphrase) “I’m trying to agree with you.”
Here’s what I tried to explain, but found difficult. Reality isn’t a democracy. Reality isn’t concerned with whether we agree with it.
One thing my mom brought up was how quantum physics justified theism. I pointed out that thunder justifies Thorism. And yet she doesn’t believe in Thor.
The most valuable question I asked her was, “Why?” As in, “Why do you believe this?” I haven’t checked yet if I’ve gotten an answer.
I half expect not to. And I’ve no idea how far, if really any farther, this will go. I suspect not much.
Here’s the thing, mom, and anyone else, I’m happy to have the conversation. Always. I’m even happy to keep it a conversation, not a debate. If, however, you’re not, then I have to wonder, why’d you ask?